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$15 will get you an autographed 8″11 picture of Ari Mannis on the toilet, mailed to any USA address.

$30 will get you a 5-10 minute phone call from Ari during his free time if you fail to answer your phone, he will leave a friendly voice mail, there are no refunds. USA Numbers only.

$100 will get you a rolled “magic cigarette” by Ari Mannis, it must be picked up.

$200 will get your dogs walked by Ari Mannis at a beach of his choice, dogs must be brought to him and picked up from him.

$400 will allow you to spend the day with Ari and take notes for him, if your notes are insufficient to his needs, you will be charged an extra 100 dollars.

$800 will get you an autographed photo of Ari Mannis’s bowel movements, this includes your choice, of corn, exceptional looking log, and diarrhea.

$1600 will allow you to be an extra in one of Ari Mannis’s short films, if you fail to to be a suitable actor, you will not be refunded.

$2000 will give you the opportunity to brush and floss Ari Mannis’s teeth as well as read him a bedtime story.

$4000 Ari will perform a petty crime in your name.

$10,000 Ari will perform as an extra in your own short film, no nudity.

All prices are negotiable.